# Against The Norm

> with Norman Calvo


## Posts

- [They Don’t Fall Apart… They Quietly Settle](https://againstthenorm.net/retiring-and-post-retirement/they-dont-fall-apart-they-quietly-settle/): There’s something I’ve been noticing more and more lately… Most men don’t fall apart because of a major crisis.They don’t hit some dramatic breaking point. They just… quietly settle. Life gets a little smaller.The edge softens.The sense of urgency fades. And the tricky part?It happens so gradually, you barely notice it. At this stage of life, I think a lot of us are asking some version of the same question: What now? Not in a dramatic way.Just quietly… in the background. In my latest podcast episode, I spoke with Savio Clemente—someone who faced cancer not once, but twice. But what…
- [It Makes No Sense… And Yet It Feels Completely Right](https://againstthenorm.net/going-against-the-norm/it-makes-no-sense-and-yet-it-feels-completely-right/): At this stage of my life, I’m starting to trust what pulls me—and walk away from what doesn’t. At 71 years old, I seem to be getting both more adventurous… and more difficult. The other day, I was on a New Jersey Transit train, heading home from a three-hour cabaret class in Manhattan. Already a slightly ridiculous sentence for a 71-year-old man. Somewhere along the way, my phone rings. It’s my brother. “Are you going to shul tonight?” (last two nights of Passover) For most of my life, I would’ve said yes. Not because I wanted to. Because… that’s what…
- [Bragas in Bustarviejo](https://againstthenorm.net/adventure-travel/bragas-in-bustarviejo/): (Not exactly me in the picture, but close enough!!) I fought a bull in a small town in Spain. Then, a few hours later, I accidentally told the mayor I was wearing panties. After graduating from Princeton, I didn’t run toward Wall Street—I ran away from it. I wanted adventure. And I got it. I worked on a farm in Switzerland, taught English in Spain, spent time on a kibbutz, and even dined in Fez with my eleven-year-old tour guide and his veiled family. But the most memorable misfire happened in a mountain town outside Madrid: Bustarviejo. The Bullring Bustarviejo…
- [Chosen Suffering: How Men Over 60 Get Fit](https://againstthenorm.net/podcast/chosen-suffering-how-men-over-60-get-fit/): What does it actually take for a man in his 60s or 70s to get fitter—especially if he hasn’t worked out in decades? In this episode of Against the Norm, I sit down with my own personal trainer and strength coach Brandon Chu (Liv Method, Manhattan), who shares a refreshingly real roadmap for older men: start smaller than you think, build consistency first, and use accountability to make it stick. Take a look at what Brandon is helping me with–my goal is to do this totally unassisted by the end of April 2026 On the podcast you’ll hear: Why most…
- [From Princeton to Mount Shasta: Peace, Presence, and Purpose Through Living Inside Out](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/from-princeton-to-mount-shasta-peace-presence-and-purpose-through-living-inside-out/): In this episode of Against the Norm, I sit down with fellow Princeton grad Andrew “Andy” Oser—a man who’s lived an unmistakably “against the norm” life. After founding a nonprofit that served over 50,000 inner-city youth in Washington, D.C. through tennis and wellness programs, Andy has spent the last two decades guiding spiritual retreats at sacred sites on Mount Shasta. This conversation is for anyone—especially men in their 60s and 70s—who has spent a lifetime playing the “outer game” and is now asking: What’s next? We talk about: Outside-in vs. inside-out living Why striving can become a trap (even when…
- [You Gotta Have a Gimmick](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/you-gotta-have-a-gimmick/): Welcome back to Against the Norm! In today’s episode, we’re diving into one of my favorite topics: how to stand out and be memorable in a sea of competition.   In any endeavor—business, social media, the arts, etc., it is incredibly important to be unique.  Otherwise, your efforts either will be ignored or quickly forgotten.   As a mortgage brokerage owner in the Big Apple, this was especially important and, in my case, these gimmicks involved Santa suits, Superman capes, and even Wizard of Oz costumes. And the results? Incredible business growth, endless laughs, and connections that people still talk about years…
- [Just Go for It!!](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/just-go-for-it/): If you’ve ever thought, “It’s too late to chase my dream,” think again. At 60, I decided to become a singer—and trust me, it’s a story you’ll want to hear. This is where we celebrate trying something new, taking big leaps, and going against the grain—no matter your age or stage in life. Let me share how I took that first step. My First Leap of Faith I never thought I’d be a singer. It wasn’t even on my radar. But one day, during a mortgage application meeting,  my opera singer client casually told me, “Norman, you’ve got an incredible…
- [My Very First Canva Design!!](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/my-very-first-canva-design/)
- [Intro to My First Podcast](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/intro-to-my-first-podcast/):   “Welcome to the first episode of Against the Norm—a podcast for men who are tired of sitting on their asses and ready to get their sh*t together. I’m  Norman Calvo, and I’m here to help you kick excuses to the curb and get your life back on track. Now, you might be wondering—who the hell is this guy telling me to get off the couch? Let me tell you. I’m not some wannabe Instagram fitness guru. I’m a guy who’s been there, done that, and got the sweaty T-shirt to prove it.   I hiked up Half Dome in Yosemite…
- [Against the Norm](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/against-the-norm/): What can I say? The show was incredible—thank you to everyone who came out and cheered me on. Seeing the joy, the applause, the excitement in the room—it was beyond anything I could’ve imagined. And here’s the good news: I’m not done yet! There’s an encore performance coming this winter, so stay tuned for details. Now, let me tell you something about this whole experience—it went SO FAR against the norm. And that’s exactly why it was so rewarding. The Unexpected Rewards of Taking the Leap First, I had to dive into worlds I’d never explored before. Social media promotion,…
- [Against the Norm is Scheduled!!](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/against-the-norm-is-scheduled/): I’m thrilled to announce a unique event that’s been a long time in the making—my very own one-man cabaret show, aptly named “Against the Norm.”  It’s now on the calendar at Don’t Tell Mama—a famous cabaret venue here in New York City.  Mark the date:  Sunday, November 3rd at 3 PM. After decades of navigating the bustling world of mortgage brokerage, I’ve taken a leap off my well-trodden business path into the  realm of music and performance. “Against the Norm” isn’t just a title—it’s a reflection of my journey, a testament to my spirit of embracing life’s unexpected twists and…
- [Cabaret—-The Epitome of “Going Against the Norm”](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/cabaret-the-epitome-of-going-against-the-norm/): I’ve had the pleasure (three times already!) teaming up with a fellow singer in my Manhattan Cabaret Arts group.   While I always also enjoy singing solo, there’s just something unique that makes duets so much more fun and special.  Duets require way more attention to timing, way more focus on staying on pitch with varying harmonies, and when you add in some minor dance routines, they demand attention to movement, stage presence, and cooperation.  Maryellen and I performed our third duet act together this past week and it was a blast.   Our performances aren’t just about “singing”—we throw in some…
- [A Coffee Lovers’ Dream](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/a-coffee-lovers-dream/):    It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I really love coffee.   Starbucks, Seattle’s Best, Dunkin’ Donuts, Gregory’s, Rook (Jersey Shore only)—they’re all pretty much the same to me.   Just add a little bit of oat milk and I’m super content.  Oh, sure, I know that there are plenty of coffee aficionados out there—I have to admit though, that I’m not really all that picky.  As long as I get that caffeine jolt—all is good. It all changed though a few months ago when my daughter, Adele, suggested that we go to Ralph Lauren’s coffee shop at their…
- [Farming, Sorting Underwear and Barbecuing:](https://againstthenorm.net/adventure-travel/farming-sorting-underwear-and-barbecuing/): I have to admit that I am not the volunteering type—maybe it’s because while working full time I deluded myself into thinking that I never had time to do it, or perhaps it was because altruism and “giving back” was not in my blood.  To be sure, now that I’m nearly retired, it certainly couldn’t be the former excuse.   Whichever one it was, however, when the war in Israel broke out, I knew I couldn’t live with myself if all I did was write a check to the various charities and organizations.   That would have been the easy…
- [How Crazy and Irresponsible Could I Possibly Be?](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/how-crazy-and-irresponsible-could-i-possibly-be/): Half Dome Elevation of 10,500 Feet—One False Step and It Would be Over! My penchant for fitness vacations started about 10 years ago when I took my sons on a four-day backpacking trip to Yosemite National Park.   I’d always wanted to go to Yosemite, and I felt that I was finallly fit enough to take the challenge of camping out and hiking uphill with a 35-pound backpack on my back.  I really wanted to become infused with the magnificence of nature.   And, beyond the the beauty of natural surroundings, waterfalls and forest, the pinnacle and highlight of the trip was…
- [Fats—Part Two of “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/fats-part-two-of-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/): Now, what about the “good fats” such as avocados, olives, nuts and seeds and vegetable oils (the exception being coconut oil which has very high levels of saturated fat) and fatty fish such as salmon, trout and mackerel.    Can we eat them in unlimited portions?  Or how much is too much? First off, the general problem with any type of fat—whether saturated or unsaturated is that it is much more calorie dense than that of protein or carbohydrate and can easily lead to with gain.   So, no matter what, we always need to be cognizant of this.  Specifically, though, most…
- [The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly](https://againstthenorm.net/health/the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly/): So, I’ve been on my vegan diet now (the Dr. John McDougall plan—truly excellent) for just a bit over a year now and I’ve lost and kept off 33 pounds!   I still have a bit more to lose, despite the fact that nearly everyone around me says I’m way too thin (I’m not!) and despite the fact that nearly everyone around me says that this diet is “unhealthy”.  There are some people in my circle of friends and family who are somewhat okay with not eating meat and dairy and fish, yet they completely disagree with me staying away from…
- [Can a 69 Year Old Man Do a Handstand?](https://againstthenorm.net/health/can-a-69-year-old-man-do-a-handstand/): I started working out in earnest way back in 2007 just as the mortgage crisis hit full swing.   As a counterbalance to the business problems from that time,  I hired a business mortgage coach who, from our very first session, told me he wouldn’t coach me unless I lost at least 40 pounds (I weighted 247 pounds at the time) and unless I went to the gym and/or worked out with a trainer at least 3-4 times per week.   He frankly, unequivocally, and categorically told me that there was no use in coaching me because I’d probably not…
- [I Was a Peanut Butter Addict!](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/i-was-a-peanut-butter-addict/): Peanut butter is healthy, right?  I mean, peanuts are a natural food and who didn’t grow up eating lots of Skippy or Jiff or even some of those awful (way back in the 60’s) store bought brands.   I would  get my peanut butter fix everywhere.  Normally,  it was two P & B sandwiches on super fresh Wonder Bread.  And I always went for the super chunky type peanut butter—heaven on earth!!   When I made my sandwiches, I layered it on thick—no modest covering of the bread for me—only the skinny kids did that. When I needed a snack,…
- [You Gotta Dream Big—and Be the Best!](https://againstthenorm.net/going-against-the-norm/you-gotta-dream-big-and-be-the-best/): It was 1972 and incredible change in higher eduction admission policies was the rage.     Many, if not most, of the elite private universities had just  become co-ed and they were they now recruiting and encouraging  women to apply.  At the same time, and equally important, were new affirmative action guidelnes designed to increase the representation of minorities at schools that, uptil until  recently, had been predominantly all white (and many elite schools were all male). Even though I didn’t think so at the time, I had the “good fortune”  to attend an inner city high school whose student population was…
- [My First Cooking Class!  And, of Course, Totally Vegan……](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/my-first-cooking-class-and-of-course-totally-vegan/): So, several months ago, after being on a whole food, plant based diet (WFPBD), I was getting a little bit bored with plain baked potatoes, plain brown rice (even with some salsa on it), steamed or boiled vegetables, salads and beans, etc. etc.    I’m not a cook by any stretch of the imagination, and simply don’t have any time, even with all of the so called “easy” recipes for WFPB diets that are on line, to prepare, cook, clean up and eat any of those delicious looking meals.  Nonetheless, my taste buds were crying out for something special, so…
- [Should I Change My Workouts—Are Frequent Half Marathons Too Much on the Body?](https://againstthenorm.net/health/should-i-change-my-workouts-are-frequent-half-marathons-too-much-on-the-body/): I used to love all of my 4 day weekends away from NYC to run a half marathon.  They’ve taken me as far as Seattle, San Diego, Miami, Philadelphia, San Antonio,  and Washington DC.   And, of course, I can’t forget the two Brooklyn half marathons that I ran and the incredible DisneyWorld Half.   My wife and I used these weekends as a respite from the doldrums of Brooklyn—and as a great excuse to get away from it all.  And, quite honestly,  I even loved the training—it kept me fit and somewhat lean (at least it kept the weight…
- [A Gap Year For Grown Ups—What an Amazing Idea!](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/a-gap-year-for-grown-ups-what-an-amazing-idea/): Several years ago, I started thinking about, discussing and contemplating the “what if’s and hows and when’s” of actually retiring.   I was burnt out and I knew it.   Forty years  getting up at the crack of dawn, commuting to work and then spending all day in a crisis mode dealing with the worry of loan approvals, interest rate fluctuations and lock ins and customers anxiety and complaints/criticisms was really getting to me.   As much as I tried to have a balanced life by taking weekend breaks and  vacations, every time I went away, I came back to…
- [How “Out of the Ordinary” Can You Really Be?](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/how-out-of-the-ordinary-can-you-really-be/): As many readers of this blog probably already know, when I was already nearing retirement, I started taking singing lessons, joined the Gotham Rock Choir,  and then made my way to start taking Cabaret singing lessons.    The journey was and still is exciting, challenging, and pushes the envelope way beyond the “normal” scope of what you’d expect for a 42 year veteran in the relatively staid and conservative mortgage banking world. A couple of years back, our cabaret director decided to have an entire show dedicated to celebrate Judy Garland’s 100th birthday.   And so, she announced that everyone…
- [An Amazing Evening with Whole Food Plant Based Experts](https://againstthenorm.net/wfpbd-whole-food-plant-based-diet/an-amazing-evening-with-whole-food-plant-based-experts/): As an avid listener of  “The Exam Room Podcast” —a podcast sponsored by the Washington DC based Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine —the second I heard they were doing a live podcast here in New York City I bought tickets immediately.  .  The Exam Room is the ultimate vegan podcast that examines vegan nutrition and medical news.   And the sponsoring committee works to promote healthful vegan diets for disease prevention and also works to end the use of animals in education and experiments.  For anyone who wants to listen to it, here is a link to it on Spotify:…
- [Losing Weight with a Diet Heavy on Potatoes, Brown Rice, Beans, and lots of Vegetables](https://againstthenorm.net/wfpbd-whole-food-plant-based-diet/losing-weight-with-a-diet-heavy-on-potatoes-brown-rice-beans-and-lots-of-vegetables/): I’ve been somewhat heavy all my life.  No one really considered me “fat”, but I sure felt that I way.  At 247 pounds, my 5”11” frame really carried all that weight really well.   I didn’t look typically obese,  and interestingly enough, even though my BMI was nearly 30 and I had elevated blood pressure, my general practitioner never recommended that I lose weight. My dieting journey started about 15 years ago.  I tried every diet in vogue—Atkins for quite some time, Keto, Paleo, strict calorie counting and quite honestly, all of them worked for a while.   Fortunately, I…
- [New Zealand—the Adventure of a Lifetime](https://againstthenorm.net/adventure-travel/new-zealand-the-adventure-of-a-lifetime/): A few years ago, my son, Aaron, planned what turned out to be the vacation a of a lifetime to New Zealand.    I’m generally okay for going a bit beyond my comfort zone and so when he said we’d be doing a “some”white water rafting, some hiking, some hang gliding and some rappelling and canyoneering (I didn’t know what this was at the time), I cautiously agreed.  I figured that since we’d have private guides with each adventure,  they’d all be relatively safe. True, we had private guides with each adventure, but little did I know that nearly all…
- [A Standing Ovation-Very Little Experience Necessary!](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/a-standing-ovation-very-little-experience-necessary/): I used to think that standing ovations were the sole prerogative of Broadway actors and singers or incredibly talented performers who’ve reached the pinnacle of their artform.  Needless to say, they are hard to come by, and, generally speaking, they do need to be well deserved. What I’ve learned, though, is that it IS  possible for  an average performer to receive such an accolade.  It’s a bit perplexing, but why and how could an unabashedly amateurish singer  like me (who parenthetically sometimes sings off key) receive a standing ovation?  Aren’t they normally reserved for superstars? It all started about 7 years…
- [Why Does Thinking about Retirement Have to Be So Hard?](https://againstthenorm.net/retiring-and-post-retirement/why-does-thinking-about-retirement-have-to-be-so-hard/): I didn’t  expect the retirement process to be this hard.  I mean, what’s so hard about not working when really all I wanted to do was exactly NOT that!  After 41  years as a mortgage banker, I  had no appetite to review yet another credit report or tax return, nor did I have the interest in being the best in my field anymore—I had accomplished that long ago!  When my friends and family expressed their concern about my decision to retire, I jokingly responded, “Does Madonna create any #1 hits anymore?   I’m moving on, just like her, I said.   Thankfully,…
- [A Short Visit to India](https://againstthenorm.net/adventure-travel/a-short-visit-to-india/): As a kid growing up in the 1960’s, we really didn’t learn much about India.  Of course, we heard about monsoons, the Taj Mahal, the Himalayas and Mahatma Gandhi.   What was emphasized, though, was the poverty, the slums, and the caste system there.   And so, when my wife and I decided to travel there, knowing that we couldn’t see everything in just one visit, we wanted  to make sure to see the Taj Mahal and also to see the slums firsthand for ourselves.    I was curious to see if they were really as bad as I had…
- [Still Working, but Taking LOTS of Time Off](https://againstthenorm.net/new-passions-and-interests/still-working-but-taking-lots-of-time-off/): By far, looking back at my now approximate one year preparation for retirement (will it ever really happen?) the thing that stands out the most as far as taking up so much of my time are all the incredible vacations that I’ve taken in the last year.  It’s not that I’ve forgotten about all of them at all, but they’ve taken on such an incredible part of my life these days, that they not “unusual” standouts in my life anymore.   They’re actually more of the “norm” than not the norm. OMG!  I just counted them all—12 vacations in the…
- [What the McDougall Program Was Like](https://againstthenorm.net/wfpbd-whole-food-plant-based-diet/what-the-mcdougall-program-was-like/): Like pretty much everyone else, I was quite skeptical that a diet based on starches would really work.  I mean, really, our whole diet culture in the US has told us repeatedly that starches are fattening.  Eating lots of potatoes, brown rice, tons of beans and sweet potatoes really was no ones’ idea of a weight loss panacea.   Quite the opposite—they were all maligned for putting on weight; not taking it off! After reading a few of his best selling books and watching several of Dr. John McDougall’s You Tube videos, I decided to try his 12 day intensive…

## Pages

- [What’s Next?](https://againstthenorm.net/form/): Let’s Talk About What’s Next I’m opening a few private coaching spots for people navigating the big questions around retirement, purpose, and creating a vibrant third act. This isn’t a marketing pitch or a newsletter — just an honest, thoughtful conversation with someone who’s walked the path. If you’re ready to reflect, reimagine, and take action, drop your info below, and I’ll personally reach out. 🕺 Spots are limited — because this work is personal.
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- [About me](https://againstthenorm.net/about-me/): A wonderful serenity has taken possession of my entire soul, like these sweet mornings of spring which I enjoy with my whole heart. I am alone, and feel the charm of existence in this spot, which was created for the bliss of souls like mine. I am so happy, my dear friend, so absorbed in the exquisite sense of mere tranquil existence, that I neglect my talents. I should be incapable of drawing a single stroke at the present moment; and yet I feel that I never was a greater artist than now. When, while the lovely valley teems with…


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