I used to think that standing ovations were the sole prerogative of Broadway actors and singers or incredibly talented performers who’ve reached the pinnacle of their artform. Needless to say, they are hard to come by, and, generally speaking, they do need to be well deserved. What I’ve learned, though, is that it IS possible for an average performer to receive such an accolade. It’s a bit perplexing, but why and how could an unabashedly amateurish singer like me (who parenthetically sometimes sings off key) receive a standing ovation? Aren’t they normally reserved for superstars?
It all started about 7 years ago when I was filling out a mortgage application with a married couple, both of whom were international opera singers, who oftentimes also had supporting roles on Broadway. As our relationship developed during our work together, they were enthralled by my “phenomenally rich and deep baritone-bass voice”. So confident were they that I was a natural born singer that they asked me where and when I performed my most recent gig. Was it possible for two people to be so out of touch with reality??? When I informed them that I had never sung a single note in my entire life, they were aghast at my response. And as I continued to tell them that I couldn’t possibly sing on key, I could see they were dumbfounded and stupefied. They honestly thought that I had the best and richest singing voice they they had heard in a very long time. So, when they recovered from their shock, they said, “So, well, you must be doing voice over work, commercials or radio, right? At this point, all I could think of was that either they were incredibly naive about what it takes to be a successful mortgage broker in New York, or maybe that “artistic types” were just whimsical, starry eyed dreamers.
I had to admit to myself, though, that I was intrigued and flattered despite their obvious disconnect with reality. So, when one of them asked me if I was interested in taking singing lessons, my rational and business side immediately scoffed at the waste of time, and the other half wanted to jump at the opportunity in order to develop another side of my personality. By that time, I was already nearly a “senior citizen. I’d been working 10-12 hour days for nearly 35 years and it truly was high time for me to explore something less “business-ey”.
So, I started my adventure. And with the utmost of patience, kindness and humor, Sarah, my newfound singing coach and now previous client, started the first several lessons by asking me to sing the note that she just played on the piano. After a few weeks, it became incredibly clear to her that I simply couldn’t do that with any measure of accuracy. Vindicated, I reminded her that I couldn’t sing a single note and that I was probably tone deaf. She wouldn’t have any of it, though, and so she downgraded the exercises by just playing two two notes, one after the other, and asking me if the second one was higher or lower than the first. I couldn’t do that either, at least not when the notes were close to one another., It took nearly 6 months of lessons before I could get get it right at least 75% of the time. I mean anyone can tell the difference between a middle C and another C either one octave higher or lower than middle. But recognizing the difference between a G and a G sharp! Nearly impossible!!!
My tenacity and perseverance really were paying off, or so I thought. I joined a choir by the end of my first year of lessons (no previous experience required, thankfully!!) and amazingly, no one complained or laughed at my newfound “musicality”. As a matter of fact, I was incredibly inspired by the group’s natural inclusivity—we were all a motley group of personalities , some of whom who could really sing beautifully, but also, some who were quite amateurish (although none as much of a newbie as I was). And, as I became more comfortable with the fact that maybe I could really carry a tune, I bravely auditioned and got the part for my first solo. I had 5 weeks to learn the notes to 20 simple words.
The night of our performance finally arrived. My triple application of Arid Extra Dry couldn’t stand a chance to my out of control sweat glands. With a racing pulse and blood pressure peaking beyond the danger zone, I stood at the front of the stage shaking and frigtened beyond belief. And as the first few bars of the song started, I mustered up the strength to begin: “ When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me, singing words of wisdom, Let it Be.
Sure, the words came out, but the notes didn’t—not the right ones, that is! I was a complete disaster and I knew it, but the show went on anyway. And when it was over, my wife, my kids, their friends and my singing coach all came over to tell me how proud they were of my solo and how wonderful the show was. I knew they had to suspend reality a bit to congratulate me my performance—I was no dummy. Nonetheless, I wanted so much to to believe them and to suspend my own reality of how it went, that I actually gave in to unbelievabllity and thought that maybe, just maybe, they were on to something and that I did have a touch of musicality in me.
And so that’s how I’ve carried on since then and that’s how I think anyone carries on. With any new activity—-it’s the praise and encouragement that keeps you going. It just doesn’t’ matter how good you are. As corny as it sounds, when I or my wife and kids sing “the Wheels on the Bus” with my granddaughters and clap along with them, our encouragement , applause and praise keeps them going too. It’s their own form of a standing ovation and it keeps them motivated and challenged to take their next step forward, whether it be new songs, new words, or new activities.
I recently did get a standing ovation with my rendition of “My Way” to a group of Spaniards on a retreat to become more fluent in English. Was I an excellent performer and did I always sing on key? Listen to the video and see for yourself. There’s no objective reality to that question. To be sure, the truth of the matter is that standing ovations oftentimes have little to do with quality and content. Sure, amazing performers will always get one and they deserve it. And maybe so does anyone else, those who are able to muster up enough courage and tenacity to try something new and to persevere matter what. Standing ovations have more to do with the relationship of the performer and observer. It is an emotional connection, and it is an acknowledgement, of the hard work, tenacity and courage of the performer.
Here’s my video and standing ovation. I hope you like it!!
